Are you hungry? You won't be in about 15 paragraphs or so.

Folks, let's talk about The new Double Down sandwich from KFC.

Now, the staff at N-H DotComedy is well aware this culinary version of Russian Roulette isn't specific or unique to Northeast Ohio, but what better way to get you hooked on News-Herald Dot Comedy than by dangling a juicy, fried, meaty, cheesy, salty, sloppy topic we could all sink our teeth into early in our online infancy?

According to the store locator at the official Web site for Kentucky Fried Chicken - kfc.com - there are 10 KFC restaurants in The News-Herald coverage area.

Middlefield, Chardon, Chester Township, Euclid, Mentor, Mentor-on-the-Lake, Willowick, Willoughby, Painesville and South Euclid are all home to a Colonel Sanders house of hunger-busting goodness. Basically, you can't drive very far without being within clucking distance of heaven for the taste buds and hell on the arteries.

This is the description of this new menu item at KFC:

"The new KFC Double Down sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!"

Ah, but hopefully, there is room for the ambulance to pull up behind you in the drive-thru if you eat one of these succulent heart attacks-in-waiting in a wrapper.

The Double Down comes in two versions – Original Recipe or Grilled. Double Down has 540 calories, 290 calories from fat, 32 grams of fat and 1,380 milligrams of sodium. Now, from a technical, nutritional standpoint, the staff doesn't know what any of that means, but two of us actually gained four pounds and another member's chest hurts a little bit after writing that sentence.

Full disclosure time. The DotComedy staff diet isn't exactly made up of alfalfa sprouts, rice cakes and a low-calorie broccoli frappe for desert.

But, friends, can't we tone it back, just a little? Do we have to tempt the gods of cholesterol every time we run out to grab a bite on our lunch break?

We're not trying to make any enemies with the fine folks at KFC, and truth be told, the staff is sure the Double Down probably tastes tremendous. We just can't imagine that pitch that day at the Colonel's corporate offices. Think about it like this - the sandwich in question must mean that one day, somebody at 1 Extra Crispy Plaza had to be eating a deep-fried chicken filet and thought, "You know what this is missing? Another filet, cheese, sauce and BACON! No time for a bun."

Well that was certainly thoughtful of KFC not to try to wrap this monstrosity in a carb-overload crescent roll or half a loaf of sourdough, lathered up with garlic butter, deep fried in a vat of apple fritters and carnival onion rings and then stuck on a chocolate covered skewer.

Oh no, did we just give KFC a new idea?

All we are saying is the staff worries about the welfare of the people in Lake, Geauga and Eastern Cuyahoga counties. We don't want to see the loyal readers of The News-Herald or news-herald.com start to make sumo wrestlers look like Olympic gymnasts from Tinkerbell's home town.

You can enjoy fast food. The staff is reasonably sure after this mini-rant we are not going to stop going to our favorite quick-fix restaurants in town.

But, be careful. No sandwich is worth it if you need a medical alert badge in order to .... well, in order to order one.

What's so funny, Northeast Ohio?

Clogged arteries and hypertension aren't going to tickle anyone's funny bone. Where will the munchies madness end?

Got a problem with that?

Take it up with Colonel Snader's personal trainer.