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Food Challenges and Other Reasons to Lighten Up, America
The staff at News-Herald.Comedy admits it - we have sinned!
The Seven Deadly Sins include gluttony, and we say - bring it on!
The Travel Channel has a show called "Man Vs. Food" in which host Adam Richman wanders the country like some famished Jack Kerouac caricature, eating more in a sitting than most humans should eat in a week. This beatnik pigout artist has no purpose in life other than trying to get his photo on a diner wall and maybe earning a T-shirt he will never wear, and yet, we can't look away.
Think trainwreck meats ... meat.
If any human wakes up in the morning, brushes his teeth and thinks - my day won't be complete unless I eat a 5 pound burrito filled with sour cream and guilt - then more power to him. And more Rolaids to him as well.
The question is, "WHY?"
The second question is, "WHY THE SIDE DISHES?"
Folks, if you want to sit down to a 9-pound T-Bone steak, do you really need a salad and an overstuffed baked potato, too? Isn't the abnormal animal flesh serving that would make the late SNL fat man Chris Farley wince enough food for one carnival-type challenge?
If Adam Richman or anyone else with a strong appetite and minimal common sense wants to throw down half a cow because some local yokel named Madge is urging him on, Godspeed!
But is the side of cole slaw wrapped in bacon and smothered in cheese absolutely necessary?
We have so little complaints in life. But a 48-inch pizza topped with 12 sticks of pepperoni and a stalk of celery doesn't need to be accompanied by a vat of french fries that even Homer Simpson would have a hard time enjoying.
Perhaps the best thing to do is to grab the remote, put the ER on speed dial and enjoy. Don't take any cholesterol tests than millennium, and don't try this at home.
We as a society are simply gluttons. Doesn't mean we are sinners. We like our food big and our hosts to be a step away from the Richard Simmons University detox program.
Go, Adam! Now pass the salad forks and the salt substitute you will never be using.
Got a problem with that? Take it up with a nutritionist.
- BTilton@News-Herald.coom
The Seven Deadly Sins include gluttony, and we say - bring it on!
The Travel Channel has a show called "Man Vs. Food" in which host Adam Richman wanders the country like some famished Jack Kerouac caricature, eating more in a sitting than most humans should eat in a week. This beatnik pigout artist has no purpose in life other than trying to get his photo on a diner wall and maybe earning a T-shirt he will never wear, and yet, we can't look away.
Think trainwreck meats ... meat.
If any human wakes up in the morning, brushes his teeth and thinks - my day won't be complete unless I eat a 5 pound burrito filled with sour cream and guilt - then more power to him. And more Rolaids to him as well.
The question is, "WHY?"
The second question is, "WHY THE SIDE DISHES?"
Folks, if you want to sit down to a 9-pound T-Bone steak, do you really need a salad and an overstuffed baked potato, too? Isn't the abnormal animal flesh serving that would make the late SNL fat man Chris Farley wince enough food for one carnival-type challenge?
If Adam Richman or anyone else with a strong appetite and minimal common sense wants to throw down half a cow because some local yokel named Madge is urging him on, Godspeed!
But is the side of cole slaw wrapped in bacon and smothered in cheese absolutely necessary?
We have so little complaints in life. But a 48-inch pizza topped with 12 sticks of pepperoni and a stalk of celery doesn't need to be accompanied by a vat of french fries that even Homer Simpson would have a hard time enjoying.
Perhaps the best thing to do is to grab the remote, put the ER on speed dial and enjoy. Don't take any cholesterol tests than millennium, and don't try this at home.
We as a society are simply gluttons. Doesn't mean we are sinners. We like our food big and our hosts to be a step away from the Richard Simmons University detox program.
Go, Adam! Now pass the salad forks and the salt substitute you will never be using.
Got a problem with that? Take it up with a nutritionist.
- BTilton@News-Herald.coom
posted by News-Herald Blogs at
1:47 AM
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