Folks, the country must be officially out of talented writers.

That's the only thing the staff at DotComedy can come up with after scanning the national TV channels in search of entertainment in much the same voracious way a starving man straight out of a war-torn country looks for edible food in Burger King.

Big Brother? Jersey Shore? Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Breathing - the Drama of Taking in Oxygen and Blowing It Out on Regular Basis?

Waiter, check please.

We have somehow morphed into a world of mindless voyeurs who aren't looking for entertainment anymore, we are simply looking for the real life struggles of ego-maniacs who if they weren't on TV, would be told to shut up as they were babbling about their daily ATM transactions while in line to catch the next Carrot Top movie.

It's embarrassing, and sorry to put a huge blanket that would be tight on Andre the giant over this next statement, but you are all guilty of it.

Why are there reality shows popping up quicker than a bag of Orville Reddenbacher's latest fast food disaster than talented writers popping out of 4-year universities? Because we are lazy and quick to check our IPhones for the next episode of Roseanne Barr's "I Keep Getting Richer Without a Shred of Talent Because You Watch This Show."

Isn't Twitter and Facebook enough of a glimpse into the real lives of ultimately non-important Americans? Do we need a new show every week called "Ice Road Animal Attacks Dancing With Switched Real Names Ex-Celebrities High on Chocolate"?

Every channel on every satellite dish in the universe is now inundated with these mindless reality shows featuring Joe Public searching for a way to cash a check because Joanne Public has nothing better to do on a Tuesday night than vegetate with a bag of Doritos shaped like Oprah Winfrey.

Ridiculous.

Anybody remember "Seinfeld" or "Cheers" or "24" or ... gasp ... the news? Now it seems any wannabe TV producer in Hollywood can guarantee payment on another Botox treatment/yacht purchase seminar by simply putting a camera outside of K-Mart and waiting for the next trainwreck in Muncie, Indiana. God, please, the staff at DotComedy prays to you to bring back good writing and semi-intelligent programming.

The slippery slope we are on is seemingly leading to a bathroom camera in the Senate to make sure we don't miss any of the hijinks or crazy banter between a Dem and a Republican when it comes to the art of headbutting the hand dryer to avoid touching anything with their freshly-cleaned hands.

Are we all so devoid of a trigger in our minds to decipher complete crap on TV from reality crap? The whole world changes plans in their daily life every time we think there will be reruns of the 2007 season of "Deadliest Catch" on the 4th of July.

Charlie Sheen will be popular forever because we would rather watch this deep-fried idiot brush his teeth than give a courtroom drama on ABC a chance. WOW!

I would say this is the seventh sign of Armageddon, but the first six haven't gotten through production on Fox's new reality channel.

A couple from Modesto, California arguing over what spatula they are going to use to flip pancakes is not must-see TV. Wake up, people.

Cash Cab meets Top Chef in a battle royale judged by the chick who is hoarding pieces of the Titanic in her basement is not appointment viewing ... unless it is on TV. And yet that's what we want our channels filled with?

Not us.

The staff here longs for a change in the American psyche when it comes to television programming in the very near future ... and we hope we are on the production crew at the Rubik's Cube Reality Show factory when it does.

Got a problem with that? take it up with Joe and Joanne Public.

-Bill Tilton
-BTilton@News-Herald.com