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Oprah Down Under and Other Ways Rich People Can Have Fun With Sponsor's Money
A quick-hitter edition of News-Herald DotComedy.
The top 10 reasons getting one of 300 free trips to Australia from Oprah Winfrey is not as sweet a deal as it seems on the surface.
Winfrey, who opened her 19th season of her syndicated TV talk show six years ago by giving out cars to everyone in her studio audience, has promised to take the group in attendance for the premier of her 25th and final season to Australia in December on an 8-day, 7-night trip.
The staff at DotComedy would not be as excited as some of the shrieking zombies in the audience were to hear they are about to be headed down under with Queen of TV.
10. Qantas is probably covering most of the bill as a clever marketing tool, so don't kiss Oprah's feet or erect statues of her at the local church.
9. Think about how long it will take to get through the airline security if Oprah is wearing her normal Mr. T allotment of jewelery?
8. So, even if Winfrey is forking out a pretty penny in Australia for hotels or hammocks, it was probably money she was going to spend on a few more low-cal chefs, so blame yourself if she blows up again like Aretha Franklin with gas.
8. Koala Bears don't do well around Gucci and Liz Taylor perfume, so don't stand to close to O at the zoo.
6. What's next? A 4-day trip to Simon Cowell's human humiliation ranch in London with former "American Idol" cohort Ellen DeGeneres?
5. Accepting the offer to go to Australia means you were invited to the special premier, you are a loyal viewer and thus a public admission that you have nothing better to do at 4 p.m. than watch a weepy gabfest to get all your book, exercise and psychic information.
4. A 20-hour flight is a long time to watch reruns of "The Color Purple" with freeze frame close-ups of Winfrey no matter how good Whoopi Goldberg was in that film.
3. Seating will be in coach class only as first class will be occupied by Oprah and her ego - very little room for the pilots.
2. There's a chance you could lost in the Outback with Crocodile Dundee and Dr. Phil.
1. Two words: Oprah's bikini
Got a problem with that? Take it up with Aretha, Ellen, Whoopi and Dr. Phil.
- BTilton@News-Herald.com
The top 10 reasons getting one of 300 free trips to Australia from Oprah Winfrey is not as sweet a deal as it seems on the surface.
Winfrey, who opened her 19th season of her syndicated TV talk show six years ago by giving out cars to everyone in her studio audience, has promised to take the group in attendance for the premier of her 25th and final season to Australia in December on an 8-day, 7-night trip.
The staff at DotComedy would not be as excited as some of the shrieking zombies in the audience were to hear they are about to be headed down under with Queen of TV.
10. Qantas is probably covering most of the bill as a clever marketing tool, so don't kiss Oprah's feet or erect statues of her at the local church.
9. Think about how long it will take to get through the airline security if Oprah is wearing her normal Mr. T allotment of jewelery?
8. So, even if Winfrey is forking out a pretty penny in Australia for hotels or hammocks, it was probably money she was going to spend on a few more low-cal chefs, so blame yourself if she blows up again like Aretha Franklin with gas.
8. Koala Bears don't do well around Gucci and Liz Taylor perfume, so don't stand to close to O at the zoo.
6. What's next? A 4-day trip to Simon Cowell's human humiliation ranch in London with former "American Idol" cohort Ellen DeGeneres?
5. Accepting the offer to go to Australia means you were invited to the special premier, you are a loyal viewer and thus a public admission that you have nothing better to do at 4 p.m. than watch a weepy gabfest to get all your book, exercise and psychic information.
4. A 20-hour flight is a long time to watch reruns of "The Color Purple" with freeze frame close-ups of Winfrey no matter how good Whoopi Goldberg was in that film.
3. Seating will be in coach class only as first class will be occupied by Oprah and her ego - very little room for the pilots.
2. There's a chance you could lost in the Outback with Crocodile Dundee and Dr. Phil.
1. Two words: Oprah's bikini
Got a problem with that? Take it up with Aretha, Ellen, Whoopi and Dr. Phil.
- BTilton@News-Herald.com
posted by News-Herald Blogs at
4:37 PM
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