Fall.

Autumn.

No more summer.

Winter is close.

Anything else in the Depression Closet that we can let out to completely bury all the good will and happy memories of summer? It's like Jack Frost got drunk and headed into October with a big bag of burnt leaves and sunblock telling you the party is OVER!

We all say we like fall in Northeast Ohio because of the seasons changing and some of the leaves turning color and an occasional pleasant day or evening, but let's be honest folks ... this stinks.

It gets dark early. There is no more swimming or sunbathing or picnics or distinct fun of any kind. Autumn is more like a pre-cursor to wind and snow and hibernation than it is a slow division between summer and an icy chamber of solitude.

Welcome to Northeast Ohio, sign the guest book while you are fighting the Winter Reality Monster for a few nice days before Thanksgiving. Tom Turkey isn't that intersting after 40 days of shorts and bikini tops, is he ladies?

There are certain smells and certain mile markers that are completely indicative of fall, and for a split second, they are Ok. However, the 4th of July isn't that far behind us and it stinks all over again. Deep freeze is coming, and we will see you all in May when it finally thaws out this town.

The staff at DotComedy isn't sure what your feeling is, because maybe autumn is a cool time of year for you. For us it is nothing more than a sign of frigid times to come.

We miss summer. Remember when you complained about 90 degrees and humidity? SHUT UP! AGAIN!

So when the wind picks up and you spend an entire weekend raking leaves and putting away deck furniture, don't tell us that sweating like Pavarotti on a treadmill is so bad.

Fall. Autumn. The end of summer.

Like seasons changing? In the words of Tom Turkey ... stuff it!

Got a problem with that?

Take it up with The Winter Reality Monster.

BTilton@News-Herald.com