The DotComedy staff has been away for a while, and we apologize to all of our loyal readers.

Yes, that’s right, all 22 of you will get cards in the mail very soon - just weed through all the debt consolidation coupons and lawn care offers in your mailbox and you will certainly find it.

The fact is, we haven’t had a new entry since late December. There is a reason. Like Ferris Bueller said, the world moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and take a look around, you could miss it. Now, we might have completely screwed up that classic movie quote, but you should get the gist. If you don’t, rent the movie or get a Matthew Broderick autobiography from 7-11 with your next Slurpee and corndog purchase.

The point is, we as a society are very busy. We have things to do. Work, kids, life, watching reality shows,  tracking comets, collecting coins, losing weight and keeping up with all things in the Lady Gaga sub-universe.

Whew, what a workout.

Here are the top 10 reasons we haven’t had a new News-Herald DotComedy post since before Christmas.

10. Been busy trying to read the fine print under our Best Buy receipts from gifts purchased during the holidays, despite the fact all we bought was batteries. The founding fathers didn’t have the much to say about the Declaration of Independence.

9. Swamped with research for information on other sporting goods-like politicians who ran for major posts in modern America, inspired of course by Mitt Romney. Unfortunately, we have only come up with Knee Pad Morris, who ran in the primary against a guy named Abe Lincoln in a high school election in the 1800s.

8. Too much time spent waiting for Madonna to get younger and relevant during halftime of Super Bowl XLVI.

7. Deciphering anything mumbled by Kim Kardashian that might pass as intellectually stimulating conversation. Come on America, we can do better than being infatuated with a self-created TV "icon" that makes a pet rock look like Albert Einstein.

6. Had to renew our driver’s license, which in some situations makes resurfacing the Statue of Liberty with a toothbrush seem like a P90X workout by comparison.

5. Keeping up with all the “Armageddon experts” predicting the end of the world is time consuming, especially when the pop-up ads on their Web site get in the way of detail-oriented instructions on how to plan for the end of days. There is nothing like counting every last breath while extravagant advertisements for shoelaces and custom-made doghouses delay critical information.

4. Tried to open a DVD bought from the local movie rental store - after searching for a local movie rental store for a week - and then ripping through the packaging of a used film only to find out there is an ancient Mayan key and a set of pliers NASCAR must provide to get the disc out of its packaging.

3. Supposedly, a flash mob was going to break out at the DotComedy offices, but instead it was in impromptu local production of a renewal of “Mary Poppins” had lost its GPS device and held up activity while recreating Donald Trump to fire all the chimney sweeps.

2. Applied for a credit card at Wal-Mart, might miss a few birthdays while waiting for approval.

And the No. 1 reason we haven’t had a new DotComedy entry since December … still waiting for a presidential candidate to be honest, interesting or authentic during a debate. …. Still waiting.

Got a problem with that? Take it up with Ferris Bueller.

BTilton@News-Herald.com