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The Royal Wedding and Other Unexplained Overseas Obsessions
Now that it is over, and everybody on planet Earth has had time to catch their breath and drink some tea and crumpets, the staff at News-Herald Dot Comedy has to comment on the Royal Wedding.
We know this won't be popular among certain readers, but then again, the karaoke star and Halloween model better known as Lady Gaga is a multimillionaire pop icon and a sex symbol, so there is no accounting for taste for the majority of the country.
The staff has tried very hard to understand the infatuation with the marriage of Prince Whats His Name to Kate Something or Other. We have tried to figure out the obsession with other people's weddings when we sometimes can't even find the time to get dressed properly for the reception for one of our own family members. We have strained and stayed up at night tossing ideas back and forth as to why millions of people would get up at 4 a.m. to watch two people they have never met get married in a country they probably have never been to.
It's enough to make Albert Einstein want to hang up the calculator and take a nap.
It is royal, it is lavish, it is expensive and it is covered by E! television as if some drunken leprechaun is revealing the actual latitude and longitude of the pot of gold. It isn't relevant to this staff, however.
You have to wonder if these fanatics would get up and make finger sandwiches at the crack of dawn if the prince of Saudi Arabia said "I do" to some commoner from Nepal? Is England and the accents the attraction? What is it! Tell us, because we can't come close to understanding.
There are other kings and queens and princes and princesses around the globe, right? Why does England's royal couple attract more attention than an exotic dancer serving as the emcee at a Salt Lake City little league awards ceremony?
How much energy do you put into a wedding you are actually invited to attend? If it isn't as much as the excitement generated by the royal couple's nuptials, either move to Wales or ask Michael Caine to drive you to the chapel to see your cousin exchange her vows.
We just don't get it.
They are people you have never met, sort of running a country you don't want help from in a crisis.
Yep, seems perfectly normal to stop life as we know it to watch the royal couple say, "I do," and take notes on the ceremony on the back of a wedding invitation from a close friend you will forget to return.
And now that they are married, will we all get psycho for their first anniversary when they celebrate with everyone in England that isn't you? Ah, what a close-knit family occasion. Can't wait to get the pictures developed at the drug store.
They still actually develop film, don't they? Ask a Buckingham Palace guard if he will look at you. We are sure he is hiding the answer inside his giant fuzzy hat, destined to be the next big fashion hit in Chicago next spring.
Other than all that ... more tea and crumpets, Governor?
Got a problem with that? Take it up with Prince Whats His Name.
BTilton@News-Herald.com
We know this won't be popular among certain readers, but then again, the karaoke star and Halloween model better known as Lady Gaga is a multimillionaire pop icon and a sex symbol, so there is no accounting for taste for the majority of the country.
The staff has tried very hard to understand the infatuation with the marriage of Prince Whats His Name to Kate Something or Other. We have tried to figure out the obsession with other people's weddings when we sometimes can't even find the time to get dressed properly for the reception for one of our own family members. We have strained and stayed up at night tossing ideas back and forth as to why millions of people would get up at 4 a.m. to watch two people they have never met get married in a country they probably have never been to.
It's enough to make Albert Einstein want to hang up the calculator and take a nap.
It is royal, it is lavish, it is expensive and it is covered by E! television as if some drunken leprechaun is revealing the actual latitude and longitude of the pot of gold. It isn't relevant to this staff, however.
You have to wonder if these fanatics would get up and make finger sandwiches at the crack of dawn if the prince of Saudi Arabia said "I do" to some commoner from Nepal? Is England and the accents the attraction? What is it! Tell us, because we can't come close to understanding.
There are other kings and queens and princes and princesses around the globe, right? Why does England's royal couple attract more attention than an exotic dancer serving as the emcee at a Salt Lake City little league awards ceremony?
How much energy do you put into a wedding you are actually invited to attend? If it isn't as much as the excitement generated by the royal couple's nuptials, either move to Wales or ask Michael Caine to drive you to the chapel to see your cousin exchange her vows.
We just don't get it.
They are people you have never met, sort of running a country you don't want help from in a crisis.
Yep, seems perfectly normal to stop life as we know it to watch the royal couple say, "I do," and take notes on the ceremony on the back of a wedding invitation from a close friend you will forget to return.
And now that they are married, will we all get psycho for their first anniversary when they celebrate with everyone in England that isn't you? Ah, what a close-knit family occasion. Can't wait to get the pictures developed at the drug store.
They still actually develop film, don't they? Ask a Buckingham Palace guard if he will look at you. We are sure he is hiding the answer inside his giant fuzzy hat, destined to be the next big fashion hit in Chicago next spring.
Other than all that ... more tea and crumpets, Governor?
Got a problem with that? Take it up with Prince Whats His Name.
BTilton@News-Herald.com
posted by News-Herald Blogs at
11:11 PM
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