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Summer Vacation With Kids and Other Ways to Go Completely Insane
Beautiful weather, time off, what could go wrong?
Everything, if you have rugrats blocking out the sun with their energy and their impatience.
There is something to be said for too much time with loved ones in nice weather, and that thing that needs to be said if we are all being honest is ... "Why didn't I take the red-eye junket to Las Vegas?"
Look, we all love our kids, but only Curly from the Three Stooges would smack his own head less than a parent who has to be tied to his children 24/7 during his "down time".
The staff here at News-Herald DotComedy expects to hear the criticism and dodge the William Tell arrows on this one, but the truth can be painful. Vacation is defined as relaxing time off to decompress and recharge the battery from the daily grind of work. That definition doesn't come from Webster because the poor guy was too busy scanning Aisle 7 in Wal-Mart for a two-piece bikini for his daughter and couldn't complete that section of the dictionary.
It would be nice on vacation to sit in a chair and be at peace with one's thoughts when that desire strikes. The problem is when kids are involved, the chair is always a threat to be set on fire and your only thoughts are why isn't summer camp open to a 2 1/2-year old who runs around like the Energizer Bunny on four cases of Red Bull.
Say what you want, but summer vacation when kids are involved are more of a job than your actual job. How do you keep them happy, what's the next activity, who has the money tree from the backyard and which kid is swinging from the highest branch complaining he got bilked out of the last Chicken McNugget?
Sea World, Cedar Point, the Emergency Room. Get season passes to all of them.
Set the alarm instead of waking up naturally at your leisure. Buy extra alcohol but don't plan on drinking any so you can see straight when you are rocking the swingset at 7:45 a.m. Prepare for all of it.
This ain't spring break when you are 22, trying everything you can to have fun, yet AVOID having kids while participating in every one of the 7 deadly sins. This is real life and just because you don't have to go into the office doesn't mean you don't have work to do.
Have a good summer, just don't relax in your lawn chair and ease back with your thoughts.
There's always something else on the list at Wal-Mart that needs your attention or a shake of your money tree.
Got a problem with that? Take it up with Curly from the Three Stooges.
BTilton@News-Herald.com
Everything, if you have rugrats blocking out the sun with their energy and their impatience.
There is something to be said for too much time with loved ones in nice weather, and that thing that needs to be said if we are all being honest is ... "Why didn't I take the red-eye junket to Las Vegas?"
Look, we all love our kids, but only Curly from the Three Stooges would smack his own head less than a parent who has to be tied to his children 24/7 during his "down time".
The staff here at News-Herald DotComedy expects to hear the criticism and dodge the William Tell arrows on this one, but the truth can be painful. Vacation is defined as relaxing time off to decompress and recharge the battery from the daily grind of work. That definition doesn't come from Webster because the poor guy was too busy scanning Aisle 7 in Wal-Mart for a two-piece bikini for his daughter and couldn't complete that section of the dictionary.
It would be nice on vacation to sit in a chair and be at peace with one's thoughts when that desire strikes. The problem is when kids are involved, the chair is always a threat to be set on fire and your only thoughts are why isn't summer camp open to a 2 1/2-year old who runs around like the Energizer Bunny on four cases of Red Bull.
Say what you want, but summer vacation when kids are involved are more of a job than your actual job. How do you keep them happy, what's the next activity, who has the money tree from the backyard and which kid is swinging from the highest branch complaining he got bilked out of the last Chicken McNugget?
Sea World, Cedar Point, the Emergency Room. Get season passes to all of them.
Set the alarm instead of waking up naturally at your leisure. Buy extra alcohol but don't plan on drinking any so you can see straight when you are rocking the swingset at 7:45 a.m. Prepare for all of it.
This ain't spring break when you are 22, trying everything you can to have fun, yet AVOID having kids while participating in every one of the 7 deadly sins. This is real life and just because you don't have to go into the office doesn't mean you don't have work to do.
Have a good summer, just don't relax in your lawn chair and ease back with your thoughts.
There's always something else on the list at Wal-Mart that needs your attention or a shake of your money tree.
Got a problem with that? Take it up with Curly from the Three Stooges.
BTilton@News-Herald.com
posted by News-Herald Blogs at
1:59 AM
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